My grandmother is pressuring me to invite my cousins to my wedding. In her words “they’re adopted so they don’t have any family” and “all other cousins (on my aunts side) are spread across the country”. She’s killing me. She said if it’s a matter of cost she will pay for their plates. But it’s not a matter of cost, it’s a matter of me not getting along with them because they’re not nice people. The older one and his creepy may-December boyfriend can’t be trusted to behave around alcohol. The restaurant is BYOB, and RS’s family doesn’t drink much so I’m not planning on buying a lot of wine. My cousin and his boyfriend will drink over half of it, it’s happened before. They say and do inappropriate things AND the cousin is extremely disrespectful of his mom AND my grandmother. The younger one is just miserable. He would just sit there with his nose in his phone like he does every family holiday. He’s also extremely disrespectful.

I’m really going to try to stand firm. Fact is no matter what happens people are going to be upset. We are having a small, intimate wedding because WE want to. I’m sure people from RS’s side are going to be hurt that they weren’t invited. I do not want them there. And furthermore, I do not want my ex MIL there either. She’s expecting to be invited I’m sure but how weird would that be??? It’s going to be weird enough for my SIL but she’s one of my best friends.

No. I’m not going to get pushed around and I’m not going to get stressed about it. I’ve let people walk over me in an attempt to keep the peace all my life and guess what, everyone still hates each other. One thing I’ve learned in program is I need to start putting up hard and fast boundaries for my own peace of mind.

I was having a great day until I talked to my grandma. I went to the gym, I figured out more stuff for the wedding, I did strength and core training at home…nah I’m not gonna let this bother me. It’s not worth it.

On the bipolar front I’ve been doing well ever since I convinced the dr to put me on seroquel XR. It’s so nice to have a clear mind chemically because I’m able to pinpoint triggers that set off temporary emotions and learn to deal with them appropriately. Life isn’t easy but it’s not a crushing depression or intense mixed episode anymore!