Hi all

My first post on the forum, and feeling very self-conscious about it all, but here goes....

After 16 years together and 8 years of marriage, I am now going through a separation with my wife.
She's been emotionally abusive for a few years now, blaming me for everything that is wrong in our marriage; from money (although she only wants to work 3 days a week) to her not getting pregnant and moving us to a new country. The past two years have caused a lot of extra pressure and strain on our marriage, exposing all the cracks I suppose.
Well after she blackmailed me with some money and a video recording of me, she forced me to make, I finally had enough one evening and told her I want to end things. She took a swing at me, jumped me and tried putting me in hand and shoulder locks. In trying to get out of her grip and asking her to stop, I caused a bruise on her upper right arm. This caused her to run to the neighbours, call the police and friends and tell them what an abusive husband I am. That I choked her, hit her and through her around the house... all of which is not true. In fact, she's hit me in the past. The police asked me to leave my house for at least two days for everything to cool down. It's been three weeks and I haven't been back. Not planning on it either.

Obviously, relationships and separations can't be reduced only to the events of one night, but that pretty much creates a picture of my life the past 4 years.
I think I've been emotionally preparing for the separation for quite some time, but I'll admit going through this has been extremely hard. The sense of loss is sometimes overwhelming, but I'm hoping it gets better soon.

Thank you for listening.