I’m so sorry you are hurting so badly. Your words are how I feel today too. There is just no way to describe how awful it feels to someone who hasn’t experienced it. I’m so sorry you don’t have the relief of meds or a way to trust people. It sounds like you’ve been let down and kicked down so much in the past.

My childhood was not as awful as yours but it just makes no sense why we have to go through the pain of living it and then the scars and fear it leaves behind. I was always racked with terrible guilt and anxiety and it is still debilitating.

The first thing I have to do is try to get a lot of sleep. Then I always come here. I wished I posted more but it helps a lot to know I’m not alone. I get a lot of comfort in the caring and advice. I like to play puzzle games on the computer and that takes my mind off of things. Reading about subjects that interest me like art and history. I’m staying away from news. I need to exercise, resume therapy and organize my house!

You do so much for everyone here. You give so much and I really admire that. I hope you get a little relief today. Anxiety and depression can wear you down.