I'm sorry this happened, Scarlet. I think you're already doing it - talking about it with L. I can't relate to this specific situation with confidentiality, but I've had big ruptures with my t in the past and the only way I could get past them (because like you I didn't want to change t's) was to talk about them with her as much as I needed to, for as many sessions as I needed to, and I wrote many emails to her as well if memory serves.

Sending hugs and I hope you and L are able to navigate your way through this.