We are in the process of writing out a specific and personalized confidentiality agreement. It's based on a standard one, but much more detailed. And from now on, she's going to get written consent from me if she talks to someone. She thought verbal consent was enough. I thought so too, until this. She misunderstood me, my boundaries, the situation. She got caught up in the excitement, and didn't think how her actions would impact me. Now we both know better. That verbally, things can be misunderstood.

What she did was unethical, but I cannot say she's an unethical therapist. Somethings she does, do affect me. Losing her keys, for example, was a mistake. She didn't realize how much if would impact me seeing her drive away. It doesn'take her unethical, and it does impact me.

There are things about L that I don't share on here that explains some of why things happen. And then mix that with my trauma and it equals ruptures. Most are minor. This one is major. She definitely wasn't trying to hurt me; the opposite really.

Sometimes I wish I could share more about my relationship with L here, but it would violate my personal and relational privacy. I have my boundaries even here. My relationship with L is special and scared. And I want it to stay that way. It's why this break in confidentiality is so big.

Anyways... I asked L for a phone call today, so I have that. I also sent her a bunch of quotes I relate to. And I'm thinking of drawing her a picture to show her how I feel. She wants me to connect with and express my feelings in whatever way feels best. I'm also working on a project for her tjat I started at the beginning of this year. If I finish early, I'm going to give it to her early. I'm doing this to hold onto the connection and commitment I have with her.