I hesitated on responding to this. But here you go.

Current T: He's not the warm, fuzzy type. A couple years ago, I ended up saying that I loved him. And I quickly clarified that I meant platonically. He said, "If it's platonic, then it's more just that you really like me, right?" Me: "Uh, yes, sure, that." Even though I think platonic love is different from "like." But still, he seemed OK with it. (Haven't said it since, to be safe.) There was also a time early on that I said I cared about him, and he said, "You can't care about me--you don't know me!" I said how I don't know my neighbors well (for example), but I care about them. More recently it came up again, and he said at that point, he felt like I knew him pretty well, so he understood the caring.

Ex-T: At one point (like 4 years in), I mentioned I loved her, and she said, "Oh, that's sweet." When it was 5 or 6 years, I said how I loved her, adding, "I know the therapeutic relationship is weird, so you can't say it back." She said how the relationship is unique and, "That doesn't mean that I don't love you, too," which felt like her basically saying that she did love me. Which felt nice.

Ex-marriage counselor. Complicated relationship, with transference--both paternal and erotic--that he (and my H) knew about. Had a couple individual sessions with him to address it. At some point after that, on a phone call with him (yeah, he wasn't good with boundaries), I said, "So if I love you, is that OK?" He replied, "Of course it's OK!" He was then sort of weird to me next (joint session). I mentioned it another time, and he said it was very kind of me. I said that felt like I'd complimented his shirt, not expressed something I was feeling.

So then maybe a year later, I went to this concert of a band I associated with him. I sent him an email saying, "I love you so much." Saying I knew he couldn't reciprocate and that it was platonic, but to just tell me that it was OK that I felt that way. He replied with "Of course it's OK. But this is a big deal, and you should talk to me or [now current T] about it." I asked to talk to him (ex-MC), on the phone, possibly individual session. He said no, that I needed to talk to current T. We ended up in this weird text exchange, and he called me, saying he was going to do all the talking, and I was going to listen. We both talked. He said how he'd tried to be consistent with boundaries, which...he hadn't. And at the end of the call, he said, "You need to reduce contact with me." Which crushed me. We tried to keep seeing him, but terminated a few months later. I'm past it now, but it was a big struggle. It felt that he'd rejected me because I loved him.

We had a few email conversations after termination, where I asked about the "I love you" thing, saying I'd said it before, and it had been OK. And he said how it had seemed different this time. Again, I'm basically past it now, but it took a long time. Especially because he had seemed so accepting of everything and understanding of transference. And when this wasn't OK, it felt like it reopened old wounds from the past, from when I was rejected. So, lots of pain. But I made it through.

I do suggest that clients really think of how their T's could take an "I love you" admission and consider if the risk is worth it? Like, what would you gain vs. what might you lose if the T's reaction isn't what you'd wanted, or potentially much worse.