Yes, it has.

I'm doing better now mentally.

I got a prescription for Ativan because I had become severely anxious. I only had to take it twice (though at a higher dose than was ordered,) and it broke the hold of the anxiety. Past two days, I haven't been anxious. When I've felt severe grief, it would bring on strong anxiety. But, lately, that doesn't last very long.

I've been able to straighten up my house a bit. It sure is nice to have a spouse or domestic partner who can take over when you just can't do much. This is the first time in years that I've been ill enough to need help. That's why the doctors have been willing to order help in the home for me. I could have had a visiting nurse, home attendant and physical therapist - all coming to my apartment. A social worker encouraged me to accept the home health attendant to do things like wash dishes for me. I declined. I decided I could wash dishes myself, and that would be my physical therapy, so I wouldn't need PT visits either. I'm perfectly capable of doing things like that.

No stranger coming into the home can provide the support of having a person who loves you there. I'm coming to accept that I'll never have that again. So, as I get better, I'll try to streamline and organize my apartment so that it's easier to keep up. In the years ahead, I'll have more times when my health is impaired. That comes with getting older. This is simply my first experience of being somewhat physically impaired and being so alone.

I had been thinking of adopting a dog from the animal shelter. But now I realize I would have no one to take over care of a pet, if I suddenly were not at home. When I needed to go to the hospital, it was a sudden emergency. I couldn't just leave a dog at home alone for days. I wouldn't have had time to arrange boarding the dog at a kennel, or with a professional pet sitter. My few friends really would not have been up to pet sitting. Being alone with no family near imposes certain limitations on my life. That reality is really sinking in now.