I have been very annoyed with my sister lately, I feel like I can't talk to her without her biting my head off or being like stop worrying and like that's a very stupid and negative thought when I just want to vent how I'm feeling. To be honest I think she's very bad for my self esteem I feel like she only wants me at her house when she wants me to take care of Alana, but then I'm like the mentally disabled person and she calls me such awful names. I honestly am angry at myself for putting up with it so long because most people would have just blocked her. Ever since she had her daughter Alana I've noticed that she is more selfish and self centred then ever. I can tell that when she talks to me that she is very angry inside and I know it's not my problem she feels that way but honestly if I'm the mentally disabled person she says I am then why am I only good when it serves her? I think I should honestly try as much as I can to dismantle this relationship because now it has become truly toxic. I should be able to speak and be understood but no when I talk I feel I'm being shut down... I do everything she says even when it's not right for me. I didn't want to enrol into Tafe after what happened it being so raw and having such bad mental health I felt it wasnt wise to enrol. She literally burdened me about it until I enrolled and I don't want to be in this course. I want to get better first. Nobody listens to me it's like my opinion doesn't matter to them and only they know what I should do. Well it's my brain and I know what I think in it! I'm not gonna stay in a course if I'm not ready and I won't let people run my life anymore