Where are *you* in all of this, Scarlet? You are organising yourself around her and her responses to you, but what are you missing when you cast yourself as the wronged one? Whilst it was her responsibility to uphold boundaries around contact with family (she failed), you participated in the breach. From your descriptions here, I think you baited the contact. And I think that is ok because you were seeking to have a need met.

It seems like you want people here to only say how awful it is, to offer support and suggestions, and to gloss over the uncomfortable reality of your role. I don't think anyone here has been analysing or being mean. People have asked questions and highlighted confusions - all with the aim of helping you to understand the situation better for yourself. I don't think you do yourself any favours by reinforcing your role as the betrayed one and your therapist's role as the penitent. As you say, what you want is impossible - she can't feel what you feel - and there are not enough sorrys for her to say which will appease your hurt (maybe because the hurt is displaced and, at its core, is not truly about the confidentiality breach). If you can tolerate the whole range of your feelings, and not just those which crave renewed intimacy and heartfelt apology from her, you might see something new about yourself.

None of this is said with malice and I am posting in good faith, although I suspect you won't like it. I know that when I began to look at the really unwelcome parts of myself, I made some progress. To move on from ruptures now, I ask what was I doing in the fracture. I try to do so without blame (for myself or her), but to acknowledge that I have agency and I contribute - with the hope that I can move things for myself.