I don't understand what you want from me. To say my role (which I said that's not what this thread is about)? My role is that I gave my dad L's number. I wasn't "baiting" her (btw, that's mean imo). I truly thought my sister was just going to leave a message for L and that's it. The core is that it's a violation of confidentiality. Do you not think L and I have been analyzing it? You think I'm putting 100% of the blame on her? It's not a blame game. It's admitting to our roles. Just because I'm not posting about my role, doesn't mean that I don't own up to it. L and I call it the dance. And we talk about it. I would prefer if I made the mistake, that my role was bigger, that I take responsibility for this rupture. It's easier and more comfortable for me because I'm used to it. The things I want are fantasies. And that's okay. At least I can identify it as such and not have unrealistic expectations. Which is why I posted: to find realistic ways to cope. As far as an unmet need: sure I have unmet needs. Who doesn't? Another person cannot meet all your needs. I'm not in denial about that. I had no expectations on L. She could of had many options: not listen to my sister's request, send me the card, give the card to me. I didn't even know that this whole thing was over a card! L and I agreed from the start that there is no obligated gifting especially for anniversaries, holidays, and birthdays. There's more "rules", bit that's not the point.

Look, I'm actually doing really good about this situation. There are many decisions I could have made (i.e. find another T or report her). Thanks to what L has taught me, I can still see the good in her; that her action was bad, but she's not bad. I am coping, I'm not in denial, I'm not punishing myself, I'm talking out instead of acting out, I'm using my supports, I'm being open and honest about my thoughts and feelings, etc.

Can you now please stop with this? I answered your questions: my role, that I didn't "bait" L, and I wasn't seeking about an unmet need. If you can't see my progress, that's on you.