I think you are right @@ about what Pastor T meant. I have trouble when people don't put things in context for me. It makes it really hard to figure out what they mean.


I'll see him on Saturday at the food distribution and he will probably ask how I am. Which is a difficult question. I didn't spiral. It was one incident. yeah I have to start counting all the way over but I'm not where I was 18 months ago. But I don't really know how I am feeling. I have a couple of days to come up with my answer, hopefully one that satisfies him. I know he cares about my well being. I know he still loves me (which is okay as he is my pastor too not just a T) and he says he "hurts with me" which I didn't really understand but I guess he means he was sympathetic towards what I was going through? I'm not sure. Anyway, I took it positively.


I've been talking to my support people and even a broader network of my friends that I don't lean on as often because they are out of the area. It's been good to have them supporting me through this and it is helping since I can't get in to see T sooner unless he miraculously has a cancellation next Monday or Tuesday. And I am particularly thankful for everyone on the couch who has been supportive of me and is helping me process stuff.

And, I'm proud of myself that I didn't spiral. One and done. Get back on the horse and try again.