I don't know what's reasonable anymore. My husband's ex wife, whom at one point he hated and called "dragon lady" has had another bout of cancer. I told him I don't mind at all if he's periodically in touch with her regarding her health. I mean, of course, right? She's sick, so of course it's only human that he would care about her health.

But where are the boundaries drawn? I mean, since we've been together, she has asked him to come to her home and fix her TV and cable on two separate occasions because he set it up and was the only one who knew how to fix it. Then she texts him every year on the anniversary of his brother's passing, and she also still calls his mother to talk. That feels strange to. me, after so many years that they've been apart and after he's been remarried.

But Ok, I get it. They were married for 14 years. They have a history and she was a part of his family. And I get it that she wants to offer her support over his brother's tragic death. But his brother died 18 years ago - does she still need to text my husband every year on the anniversary? Does she need to text him on his birthday? I don't even know if she does this too, but it feels like she wants any excuse to be in touch with him or connected to him in some way, and I suspect she still has feelings for my husband. It's just what I suspect... it's my gut feeling. And since this is my gut feeling, I feel that it's disrespectful to ME as his current wife to be this involved in his life.

I don't know if I am being unreasonable, though - am I? Maybe t's an individual thing... the ex wife being involved in your spouse's life, but for me, it rubs me the wrong way in every way except for her health issues. That I DO understand.

And for me, I feel like an ex needs to be just that - an ex and someone who is not in your life anymore in any way. I am not in touch with ANY ex of mine, and if I have been, it's been very little and very brief. But that's just me, and I wonder if it's unreasonable.

So what do people think? Where are the lines drawn with an ex spouse? What's appropriate and what's not appropriate?