Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967
My brother fell this morning and couldn’t get up. I was helping mom get ready to go to the funeral of a good friend of hers. I helped him up and sat with him until he stabilized. I decided at that moment that it is imperative for me to build up my world aside from them: exercise, hobbies, getaways, social events, friends etc. It’s not because I don’t care but because I do…too much. I need something to offset the deterioration I’m seeing. I’m deeply disturbed. Also, I’m 54, healthy and energetic. I still have life in me and this situation has expanded to be the majority of my world.
I think it’s a positive decision that will benefit all of us.
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Absolutely Jennifer! I’m glad you recognize this. My grandmother cared for my grandfather with dementia for 10+ years. The last year before he died was rapid deterioration and my uncle discouraged her from putting him in full time residential care because of covid. She finally had to in July 2020 and he died in October.
I can see how broken and run down she is. And now that he’s gone she has no idea what to do with herself. She’s looking for any project possible to keep her busy. Thankfully (sort of) my mom is thinking of selling her house but it needs major renovations before that can be done. Grandma’s directing the renovation of the kitchen right now.
You definitely need a life outside of full time caregiving.