Grey rock is often cited as a good technique to use with narcissistic people. You’re not ignoring them, but you’re not really engaging either. I’m sorry you’re struggling with him, but I get what you mean. My dad could be quite similar, right down to occasionally trying to organising stuff without asking us if we’d be willing to do it first. He wouldn’t order us around as such but just expected us to accept these “chores” we never signed up for.