I was prescribed a pain med a little over a year ago. It's an opiod. It helps me feel better physically when working but it is also something more than that. When I'm not working I still feel the need for it. It's the lowest dose there is. But I don't want to stop it. The doctor wont increase it. Even though I seem to have more pain than when he prescribed it. Even when at work it isn't enough to stop the pain, so I tried working through it.

I can only attribute one good thing out of using it. I had what felt like frozen shoulder, I couldn't raise my arm high enough to cut hair. I now can. But without it I can't seem to motivate myself. I've lost interest in so many things.
I worry I may not be here for my kids, then I just say to myself screw it all.
Why try. I have many problems and right now I have more problems than ever
before. How do you stop, I smoke, I use my psychiatric medication, I can't seem to settle down no matter what I do. I feel so bored if i'm not cleaning or keeping active, but going for a walk doesn't interest me. If anyone has advice I'd appreciate it, thanks.