I had a Xanax this morning. Then I took a Valium a few minutes ago. I know I’d get into who knows what type of trouble if I told my team I was now mixing benzos. But I only have a few Xanax. I was kinda desperate last night and I dug around in my top dresser drawer where I put all my junk and I didn’t find any so then I got my duffel bag I use for trips out and found about 5 of them deep in the bottom of the bag. That I don’t think is good behavior at all. I took a Xanax then along with my 160mil of Geodon.

Which just reminds me I’ve been so concerned with these theatre tickets and my delivery that I totally forgot to take my Geodon 20mil. I would normally have taken that a couple hours ago. So no wonder my anxiety is crappy all of a sudden.

Edit: now the whole med situation is messed up again. I just took the 20mil Geodon. I often take my lamictal and propalanol in 15 minutes so I should probably hold off on that. Which means my melatonin and my 160mil Geodon are now also pushed back. I don’t know. Maybe that just means I’ll sleep better tonight and I won’t wake up at 1:40 like I did last night.

And forget about eating anything today. I’ve had 670 calories but I am too distracted to focus on food. I did just eat some Chinese noodles though. I think my Valium makes me not hungry.