It is 10 minutes later.. I did it.. I have a hell of a lot of thoughts.. They just keep going and going. I thought of a moment that made me mad but I just made a deep breath and moved onto the next thought..

I'm gonna do this regularly. I realize how I'm always constantly in the moment and that's OK. I decide which way to turn - To chaos/excitement and manifesting problems for myself, - Or to peace..

You can't find peace in excitement but you can find excitement in peace I think. I wondered - Should I go right or left? What if they're swapped? And so it twirls around itself and drops to the ground like a helicopter leaf.. The constant swirling.

+ Taking a look at myself.. "What do I need?", "Am I doing the right thing?", "Should I make my own opinions and decisions at the expense of others?", etc..

I wonder how a benzo is not needed when I am all there is.. I wondered how Alan Watts managed to get so much out of learning Eastern philosophy and Zen etc.. He must have just took the thing as a joke and learned from it immediately. He says to not take reality so seriously. Maybe that's genius idk.

I thought, "Must I find a teacher to show me the way?" - But they are all me.. Idk.. I am content at where I am now.. It's very OK - Because as I walked out of work today, there was a man and a woman that got out of their cars and started yelling at each other. The man in particular was having a meltdown and I thought, "Well it's a pandemic, excuse me while I get out of your way"...

But yeah.. I think meditation even for a few minutes can help with mental health - Just a reset. It must be great with psychedelics possibly too. It's like a natural jinx and when others look at it, they're like "He/she's just stupid! How can someone trick themselves into a belief system so easily?" - My opened mind, sir/ma'am...

And when people say "I don't have time to meditate", the response should be "Do you have time to breathe??"