im not meaning to set off any alarms with you by saying this but its been my observation thru the years that when older folks start to become even more so than normally are
. angry and get hostil and get snippy and argumentitive and critical ... its a "mind game" or"buffer" or call it what you may but its their way to make themselves be less emotionally in anguish that they will be leaving all their loved ones behind when they die.
they push everyone away and get mad at people and it helps then be "glad to get the heck away from those jerks" type mindset...
it too is in the same token their way to help the folks they come unglued on to get the same negative feeling towards them so it wont be so bad to them when they die cuz it will be the same " good riddence thank goodness thats the last gotta put up with that crabby jerk'.
they get scared, they get sad, they get regretful, they get angry, they get bitter, anxious, releived, excited.. its a lot to sort out and come to terms with the reality that theres not a whole lot more sand left in your hour glass and yes we still have more years left to live but bottom line our days of living are behind us now.
its easy to look at cranky old folks and get irated and upset and offended by things they say and do and how they act and how they treat us... sure it is .. they can get pretty dang nasty thats for sure. just try to rationalize the mindset that it stems from and understand that while its gonna seem harsh and brutal and insulting .. the true intent it means to imply is he really saying the exact opposite of those things & its coming deeply heartfelt..
if hes been grouchy all his life hes mot gonna chamge that now ... thats who he is... thats the only way he knows how to express himself, and all you need to do is read it as what is symbolizes and take it as that is really being meant by what hes saying.
hes still gonna get your goat and nag and nit pick and your still gonna wanna wish you you just tell him to shut the f&$# up.. but know in the deep down bottom of your heart he doesnt now & he never did hate you at all .. he always has , still does and always will love you very, very much