Dear T,
It really hurt that you said you regretted going back to in-person. Yes, it was because you may need to switch back soon, and you said you didn't want it to be a yo-yo thing. But it still really hurts. Because it feels like you regretted being able to see me in person. And at the end of session today, it sort of felt like you were backing away from me, even though I had put on my mask per the rules. But it just felt like we hadn't actually said goodbye, so I was pausing at the door to do that.

That's why I asked about your availability. I could meet with you virtually if it makes you feel more comfortable. Really, I wonder if I should just go back to that anyway, instead of thinking each in-person session might be our last because you keep saying stuff about the numbers heading in the wrong direction. I felt connected in the virtual session Sunday, then very disconnected today. (After feeling connected in person last week.) Maybe it's not worth the stress to do in person while it lasts. And maybe you''ll be relieved that there's one less client to potentially give you the plague (even though you know I'm really careful and have said so, how I'm not one of the clients you're worried about in terms of potential exposure).

--LT

ETA: This is really abandonment fears coming out. And feeling like you fear I'll contaminate you. And...other stuff.