It is a little funny how we recognize our parents had a different life, Depression, WWII, etc. but then when it comes to their treatment of us, we often only see our side :-)

My stepmother, when I wanted to quit my job and go in business for myself was horrified and angry, said, "Don't expect money from us!" because the idea of leaving a "perfectly good job" was upsetting to her since she was raised during the depression. I suspect your adopted mother's "investment" in you is another throwback to that time period when people got little pensions after a lifetime of work and then hoped their children would take them in/take care of them, etc. if need be. It's hard to be the child but I suspect it's equally hard to be the parent and just "watch".

I'm so glad you have therapist and group leaders who know about adoption and/or were adopted to help and support you with this adventure.