I'm sorry you're going through this. I can't offer much in the way of suggestions, but I totally get the feelings of grief, abandonment, anger, and unwillingness to accept that this is it. Two main things, I guess. First, if anyone tries to imply this should be something easy to get over, don't believe them, even if they're another therapist. One thing that helps for me is to have been able to thoroughly discuss xT with my new T, and knowing that I can still bring her up (after well over a year) if something is stirred up again. Second ... should have been first, actually, but it's difficult for me to do or talk about ... sometimes I can imagine that kid in the transference as someone I care about and want to look after/console, and try to look after myself the same way. I know this is hard to do when you're depressed, but even if you only manage small things pccasionally, I think it still helps.