My French vanilla fantasy is working out again for the second day this week. I woke up at 2:30 but I actually was able to fall asleep about an hour later until 5:20. I haven’t slept in that late in a couple weeks. Then my weight dropped again. I went to Walmart to get some jeans and I found some fun colored flannel hoodies. Then I came home and saw that Hollister’s jeans were on sale for $25. About the same price as the Walmart brand. So I got 2 pairs. One dark blue and one light blue. I’ll return the Walmart pairs. I try to only wear bootcut jeans and they are pretty hard to find for some reason. Often you have to order them online. The Walmart ones were relaxed boot cut. I didn’t try them on so I don’t know what that means. But they might have been too baggy in places.

But today I feel good. Probably because of all the sleep I got last night and the fact I was able to get back to sleep.

I have my appointment tomorrow with the dermatologist. I’m not freaking out too badly. I actually keep forgetting about it because I’ve been wearing socks and shoes today. When I glanced at the spot this morning it looked pretty bad. But it doesn’t hurt today. Last night it did though. I don’t know what to expect from the appointment. I’ve never had a spot like that on me before that was that color and didn’t go away. But yeah I’m not too worried. My appointment is in the AM so I won’t have the anticipatory anxiety that I would have if It was later in the day.

I got a reply back from my therapist 45 minutes ago. She said last Monday I could email her once I heard about my surgery. I kinda figured she would reply today. The reply was a nice and supportive one but she still was just focusing on the anxiety part I had mentioned and she didn’t really say anything about my surgery. She said said at our second session that my anxiety is all she can help me with though. I took my Geodon and then I ate 5 rice cakes in a row because I was super hungry. Then I took my first Valium and I think? The Valium is what is causing me to lose my appetite and lose weight. I know I started losing weight around the time my doctor put me on the Valium. But I also know switching my 80 geodons to at night was a major reason too.