Yay, I'm glad you mostly settled this with L. Not so glad about the lingering hurt, but glad again that you're being thorough about this, not ignoring it. Of course, trust is much easier to destroy than rebuild, so it might just take a lot more time than you'd like.

This probably says more about me than about you, but it still might be helpful: I do have this very tenacious (protective, I think) part, well beyond the reach of rational thinking, that insists on holding onto hurts and grudges against my better judgement, and it tends to happen more around sensitive spots that are actively threatened somehow. Also, therapy with xT and at the group therapy place we met at, stirred up / reinforced so much past trauma that I feel a lot more threatened overall, even with my current therapist who continues to prove herself trustworthy (not L-magnitude of awesome, but still pretty reliable and cooperative).

Actually, I did have a hunch previously that you might have felt was inaccurate/irrelevant. If so, feel free to ignore. But I'll elaborate on it just in case it was relevant and just not what you needed at the time. To me, what made this a huge deal was the part where L did not act like you trusted her to, and told your family she would. I get the sense that you need to defend against your family in some ways, and L, and your relationship was/is part of that defense system. If you work anything like me, this incident revealed an apparent vulnerability in that defense for everyone to see ... and that vulnerability likely remains even after 'officially' forgiving her (because it's not just between the two of you?), and the part of you that feels the need to defend yourself would then naturally still be upset.