So my mum said to me yesterday that she feels like she's responsible for my current predicament because when I was 12 I had good coordination and concentration and was meticulously clean. Then after she abandoned me to go to Madeira when after 12 years old my entire personality changed. I was no longer the Vanessa she knew I had poor concentration would come home with dirty clothes, became lazy at school etc. It's just kind of ironic that she realized this as before it was like she thought I was mentally disabled or something or did this behaviour on purpose but now she's owning up to her behaviour and how it may have contributed to my trauma.