Scarlet, it sounds like you are doing good things for your relationship with your T and doing good things for yourself. Like focusing on positive activities to help you and your T heal from this rupture. I feel like it may just take some time. And more talking. And more time. I think you'll get there though. You have seemed really more I don't know the word, stable perhaps, about your relationship with your T than you did at the beginning of this post. I think you are doing great. Hang in there! HUGS Kit