I’m super tired and worn out but physically not mentally. I went to the library around 2 and got a library card. I didn’t get any books since I like to look at their online catalog instead of browse the shelf’s. Then I got a chili cheese dog from Sonic. I came home and put a ton of books on hold. I put the next 2 books in the Flowers In The Attic series, the new Stephen King book, the newest 2 Jodi Picoult books, 5-10 of The Diary Of A Wimpy Kid series, and a few non fiction books. I hope they are ready tomorrow. Some I have to wait for. Then I went to my sisters at 4. I thought to watch my nephews but my brother in law was there the whole time and my sister was only gone for about 15 minutes. It was kinda a pointless trip. But I took one of their melatonin’s 1.5 hours ago so it would kick in. Then when I got home I took another 10 mil melatonin, and my 160 mil Geodon. And I hopefully will sleep for a long time just based on what time is now and how late I took my meds. I went over 24 hours without any Geodon but I didn’t have any anxiety for some reason. My anxiety was basically non existent today. I did take all 3 of my Valium. I think when I take a Valium at 8:30AM when I have just a little bit of anxiety instead of when my anxiety gets out of control I do better all day. I call it staying ahead of my anxiety. My mom sent me a triggering email and it was a link about someone on my 600 pound life who died at age 30. It annoyed me because I am 28 and my mom knows I restrict food and probably have some form of anorexia. The EDNOS form where your not underweight but still have the same symptoms. So I’m not sure why she thought it was a good idea to send that to me. I told her it triggered me but she was just like “oh. Sorry.” She promotes my weight loss and ignores the other stuff. So she’s not the best support when it comes to this stuff.

But yeah with all the meds I just took I’m hoping to crash for a long time.

I’m nauseated and a bit shaky. I hope I didn’t do anything too dumb.