So Sorry for what you've been through! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about talkgin more to your mom about this if you feel comfortable enough. i Hope things are better now between you two as well as in general. Please do forgive her and forgive yourself. You matter. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @black-roses, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!