So Sorry for what you're going through! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i agree with the wise and wonderful AgentQ9A about partly relating to what you wrote here. i am fraid i don't have much to suggest but i agree about trying out something small to at least lift your mood. i Hope you'll be able to get everything sorted out. Are you currently seeing any therapist? Please do update us if possible if you want to. Love. i care about you and i think i am not the only one either. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @DazedandConfused254, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!