my mom was absues by the men she married. my dad and my sister's dad absues her and absues me. well never hit me but throw things at me i guess i was the smalles and he told my mom never to come home if i was a girl and my sisters dad said the samething to my mom about my sister. so i understand that where she is coming from. and i understand the absues she gone through with them and as she would say with her parents but my grandparents were good people but hard people. who didn't put up with sh...that i understand..and i guess my mom holds anger with that and with her brothers and sisters too. but she doesn't have to take it out on me or my kids. i told her how i felt and i told her about the pain and the hurt about the things i felt and seen. i told her i feel what i feel and i see what i see. it could be different from her or my sister but i feel hurt and anger because of her and my sister. my sister and i would say things to eachother about the way our mom was and is.we sometimes don't understand the way she is. she will put my sister down in front of me but will not tell her what she said and then my mom would do the same about me to my sister. then she would put her own sisters and brothers down but not infront of them or when she does she makes it sound like they have problems not her. i seen it and i heared it. i am so sick of it. my mom is a good person and can joke around but when it comes to hurting others she is good at it. she things she has so much wrong with her and she things she is the only one who does and no one else does. or she things others are just bull around about how they feel. i know how she gets and i am sick of it. and i hope i don't turn our like her. it hurts. she will put me down and call me names and make me feel like i don't belone or anything. or she will say it is all me that i am out to start something or that i am always thinking this. i am sick of feeling this way and i am sick of having others say things to me that they see how my mom is.

when my sister was pregnant at the age of 18 years old my mom kicked me out of the house. when my sister was ripe by our uncle my mom made a big thing out of it. but when i was ripe by my cousin and it took me years of not telling anyone and i had to live with it since i was 13 years old and when i told her she said not to say anything to keep it to myself. so what does that show you. my mom would call me sl...u..t..becasue i hang out with guys as just friends and she thought i slept with them all. they were just friends..when i was younger i took my sister and i down by the rocks she got mad at me for taking my sister but not mad at me for taking both off us.

my mom and sister only come up now for b-days and christmas not anyother times like before. and when i tell them about this they say well the weather is bad but they been up before when the weather was bad. i have a car and then we can take the subway. i don't b about going down to see them. they come up with so much bull about everything. and when my mom had two strokes i didn't know about it until after and at that time i had no kids so i could have sat with her. i am so pee off about that..ooo there is more..but you get where i am coming from...

yes it hurts and yes i am so angry. sorry..