So Sorry things are being so hard and So Sorry for your Loss! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i agree with the wise and wonderful will19 about being So Sorry for what is happening to you. Whom are the people whom are telling you are not good enough? If you have anyone telling you things like that in your Life with you i think it'd be best to ignore them if not cutting them off entirely if they persist in it. So Sorry you're feeling like this but please do not be hard on yourself or others. i think seeing a therapist may be useful if you aren't seeing one already of course. i Hope things will improve really soon for everyone. Stay Safe. Love. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @puzzclar, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!