@BethRags Thank you. It does help to vent here and know that someone is listening that can relate.

@christina Thank you for your long response. It means a lot. I didn’t realize it was 90%! That’s sad. I just always thought my marriage was strong and my husband would love me no matter what. I remember him telling me in the beginning that he didn’t care how much weight I gained, he would always love me… We should have had a plan about mental illness since my mom has it, I just thought I was way past the age of getting it… but then my mania hit and I turned on him. He just couldn’t take it. I don’t know what I’d do if I were in his shoes. I’d like to think I would still stick by his side because of my personality, but I don’t know.

I was diagnosed at almost 42 with my first manic episode, I’m 43 now. There weren’t any signs of bipolar before that. So for me this has been a HUGE adjustment. And now being single it’s even more.

That’s wonderful that you were able to fix things with your current husband.

Thank you for the dating advice. I just don’t even know who I would date or how to meet new people nor do I even have the urge to any time soon. But if I do, I won’t share my illness in the beginning.

Yes I will hopefully see my therapist this week, I need to soon.