Thanks pachyderm,

I suppose I would just like all of this to be over with. I am not looking forward to spending years in therapy......I am patient for some things , yet, for this issue I am not. I guess I am being unrealistic....but its certainly a desire of mine. I find I force myself to say things in counseling at times, just because I want to get it over with.
I'd like to say I want to feel my life again but I don't think I have every really felt my life....I was programed early on to keep in all inside.....

Hangining on.