Thank you so much for your insightful reply @AgentQ9A!! This is what I need to see, as it seems like I often get lonely with otherwise common thoughts because I get inside my head so much. I've been doing a few things to make me happy, like spending more time with friends instead of being cooped up at home all the time, and I went to the big city to see a friend even when COVID cases were increasing. But we stayed safe and it was just what I needed. I think that the most interesting thing you bring up though is your perspective, since it hits the nail on the head for me right now. I get too involved in a nasty tangle of "What if"s that eventually just makes me even more mentally absent in the moment.

@MickeyCheeky Thank you so much for having my back as you always seem to do! I just need to do like you guys have said, take pleasure even in the smallest things. I have just started seeing a counselor, thank goodness, and it looks like he is what I've needed for years. I care about you too and I am grateful to know someone like you who does!