It's just gone on for too long for me. I know everyone is sick of it, not just me. But the effect on me is getting bad, and I'm not coping well.

I went from years of being kind of tied down, caring for my boyfriend, who died last year, to being rather isolated due to COVID. Back when he passed away, we couldn't even have a normal funeral or go to the cemetery. I still haven't seen the grave because I live two thousand miles away from where he is buried. After the service, I had to come riight back to empty out his apartment. That meant I spent very little time with my family. My plan had been to go back for a visit, but I didn't because of COVID.

Then my plan was to go back after I got vaccinated and things in society went back to normal. Well, "normal" has yet to be resumed. Now I'm just out of the hospital myself and still being treated for a health problem. So I'm not going to do any flying for a while. Maybe I'll make that trip next spring.

I live alone and don't have much of a support network here. My plan had been to find activities to join where I would be around people. COVID has vastly limited opportunities for that. And it just goes on and on and on. I thought I did good getting through the last year, but this thing is not ending.

I'm depressed. My apartment is a mess. I don't really confide in anyone, except here, because it would do no good. I don't want to worry my far away family. Last year I looked into therapy, but I didn't find much available. I had no interest in Zoom encounters with a mental health counselor. So I'm way too alone for way too long, and I'm going downhill. This isolation has just gone on too long.