I am feeling depressed today, not really any reason behind it. I had a bit of a tumultuous weekend but only in my mind. Trouble with a trigger I didn’t see coming, and then RS was just not himself on Saturday. Very up and down and he didn’t know why he felt so upset. I of course blamed myself but I did some fact checking to calm myself. He went fishing on Sunday as was in a good mood again when he came back.

I’m having bad body image problems lately. I don’t even like putting on my gym clothes because the shorts are so tight. So I haven’t gone to the gym in a week which isn’t good for my self esteem either so yeah it’s a whole cycle.

I’ve been so tired from this damn seroquel. It’s exactly the same as it was five years ago. I struggle waking up and feel out of it until about noonish. I’m worried about going back to work. But I have no alternative to this med. it’s legit the ONLY one that works right now. I can’t start tinkering again now with the new school year starting in three weeks.

I guess I’m just frustrated overall.