I've caught myself acting like a d**k towards others just to provoke them and make them despise me. And then I have a reason to fight them back. What is up with that?

I've struggled with NPD traits a lot. And I've been bullied and devalued for years. Now things got much better and I'm doing fine since 4-5 years. Though it seems like I'm looking for some new enemies when things are good and calm. It's interesting... any thoughts?