I've noticed over the last couple of days that my mood actually improves in the late afternoon and evening. Maybe it's the Prozac, that I take in the morning, just taking that long to even out. Evenings have always been the worst part of the day for me, because my mind was more free to do it's terrorizing. Not so much lately.

But another thing I've noticed, is that as I'm getting ready for bed my mind picks up it's attack by telling me I should feel bad for not worrying. Like, "hey, you're supposed to listen to me and worry about this stuff, why are you feeling good, that's not how things are supposed to be, stop being so cheerful and seriously contemplate your impending mortality." I've been able to not engage with that fairly well, but it is interesting that it pops up just before bed.

Things feel a little like they're moving in a better direction. I'm trying very hard not to get my hopes up, because I know the universe has a few more things for me to deal with. Still, better than the last few weeks.

Edit: I also take my dogs in for their second shots today. Then in 10 days they can be kenneled. I had always used that as a life insurance policy, assuming that if I couldn't kennel them, that I'd have to keep living. I'm not necessarily any more or less suicidal at the moment, but it is a relief to know that they would have a safe place to be.