Last night was by far the worst night of my whole pathetic life. First my boyfriend starts arguing with me telling me that he doesn't think we are clicking. Then my parents start fighting, but it's worse than they have ever fought before. Yelling turned into screaming, which turned into my mom crying hysterically and it was just scary. I told my boyfriend about it and he told me it would all be ok. Then he sends me a text in the middle of all it saying I need to tell you something. So I was like ok what and he says "there is someone else." That was enough to cause a mental breakdown. I was in my room crying so hard I was shaking. I just wanted everything to go away. So I sent Sara a text. The person I adore most in the whole world. The person I look up to more than anyone else. The person who promised me she would never leave me. So she says she will be home soon and will chat online with me. Well she gets home and talks with me, but it just makes things worse. Here is a part of the conversation.

sara: learn how to deal with things, or decide that you don't have to deal if you don't want to
sara: but that gets me to what i wanted to say
sara: i was talking to my friend from school and she gave me/you some good advise
sara: you need to learn to depend on yourself and your dr and your family
sara: noone is perfect but that doesn't mean they don't care
sara: i'm not perfect either
sara: but my friend advised me to talk to you less. and it's for you that i do that.
sara: this doesn't mean i don't care or that i won't be here
sara: i do and i am
sara: but she said that it wasn't healthy for you to lean heavily on one person and she's worried that you do that with me
sara: and i'm really glad to help
sara: but she thinks that since you are seeing a dr now that you'll be able to start working things out on your own
sara: she made a lot of really good points
sara: this doesn't mean that we can't talk anymore
sara: it just means that you are going to have to talk to your dr and yourself to figure things out most of the time
sara: i'll still answer your emails and stuff, but you need to apply the things you talk about with your dr
sara: it's like koalas - if the mama always carries her kids then they won't know what to do when she's gone
sara: does that make sense?
mandyomgbbq: yeah.
sara: you understand that i want you to try this bc i've been told (by a survivor of anxiety) it would be best for you
mandyomgbbq: yeah.
sara: i trust you. and i wouldn't be doing this if i didn't