Went to see another new T today. That is three, not counting the one that suggested I leave after five minutes!! They say to get three quotes for building work, don't they.

Well. Now I guess I have to decide. The one I saw today reminded me the most of you. She was softly spoken, patient, sat in silence, said some of the same things as you, noticed things, had russian dolls and rocks and other things in the room.

But something is drawing me back to 'Middle T', and I don't know why!! I'm really surprised by it. She is louder, more energetic. She came across as a brand new T, though I am ptobably way off base there and if you asked me why I made that judgement I couldn't really tell you. I didn't like the room she was in, but we have other options, so there is something I guess. Yeah. It's beyond me, but that's where I'm drawn at the moment.

Maybe Teenage One needs something different to Little One. Maybe she does need someone who can match her... Fight her??? Or at least withstand her.

The first T I saw was very limited in the room she had. We would always be there, I think. She had no garden, and she didn't do walk talks. Now, 5 years ago that would have suited me to the ground. Little One didn't want to go outside, but Teenage One is drawn to the garden and did enjoy the space and possibilities that we had on the walk talk. Middle T does do walk talk too, if I ever want to give it another go.

I don't know. I will see her again tomorrow and see how it goes. It could be a complete disaster and I could take back everything I have written here... Time will tell.

Oh, and Middle T I'd very open to me emailing, it seems. Maybe too open!?! It really really helps me to hold on to things in between sessions; to process what went on in the session and also to share that with the counsellor. Without it things are just that much harder.

First T did not seem as receptive to me emailing really, and I certainly don't think I would get a full response from her, just an acknowledgement. I'm not sure that's enough to keep the connection. For me to believe that she is invested in the work.