Oh, yeah. I guess dying at 54 had always been my plan A, that I never really thought about what might happen next if I made it past that. I don't know what I want out of life. I try to brainstorm but only come up with a very short bucket list, but nothing substantial. Second career? No idea. Relationship? No idea. I'm not even sure about getting other dogs when these 2 pass on. I just literally never thought that I'd get this far. I get that my options and world are wide open and I could do anything I wanted, I just don't want anything, because I've never contemplated it. The only thing I know concretely is that I don't want to live the same life anymore. That's not a terrible starting point but won't get me very far until I know what I do want. With a month to go where the universe can still catch me, I'm just marking time. I don't feel the sense of freedom that the article suggests might happen.

Edit: On the plus side, the pups are now fully vaccinated and can be kenneled in 10 days.