I have done EMDR with three different therapists for about 5 years all total.

My last EMDR therapist released me after over a year of working together because I had become very suicidal. She explained to me that it wasn't safe to continue.

I've since returned to it. EMDR is not easy. Nasty things rise to the surface of your conscious mind so that you can effectively reprocess them so you are desensitized to horrible memories. EMDR and propranolol are the only things I've ever found to work on my CPTSD.
The therapists should have explained it to you. Frankly I think you managed to hit the trifecta of really sucky therapists. There is a website that lists all licensed EMDR therapists. There are a few bad apples in any profession, but you should always check for their license.

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