I told my T I would like to hug him a few years ago. It was in a letter I wrote to him over Christmas break. I think I missed him and I was thinking I would love to hug him, as I felt like he really cared for me and it would have brought me great comfort. (not in a romantic way).

The session after I sent the letter, he said that he ‘sometimes hugs clients, when the are both doing so consciously’. I took this to mean that he thought I had romantic feelings towards him, or I was too close to him so he refused. Also it meant that other clients were doing better than me and able to access him in ways that I am banned from. I didn’t and still don’t understand how he could refuse to hug me when it would mean so much. To this day he has never brought it up again, and I have never asked to hug again as I cannot take that feeling of rejection all over again. It made me feel so stupid and unloved. Like I was doing something wrong. Or he actually didn’t care for me at all.

I don’t know, I just wanted to say I understand how painful it is to be misunderstood by your T like that.