((((onion)))))
what am i trying to say..... it is poss... my mom told me my dad made a comment like that about me as well. i was also suicidal, depressed and stuff. mom's asked me all my life if someone had touched me wrong. i always told her no. i didn't have words to tell her what my dad had done to me i didn't even begin to understand until my 20's. i'm not saying that that happened to your child - only that it is possible. Now days mom blames me for it because i always told her no one hurt me. but i didn't have words.
it's such a sticky issue - not wanting to lead kids to think those things, but reaching them to find out what happened. maybe only time will tell. but that doesn't help with the kids your ex is near now.
i totally understand the fear of reporting, incurring the wrath, and fear of the system taking the kids - i went through the same thing when i reported on some kids who had been hit with a belt. i'll never know what happened or if they are ok.
best to you with everything. kiya