So Sorry things are being hard so much! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about not thinking that you're a fraud honestly also. Pretending to be Ok is unfortunately something that many are almost forced to do since the alternative would be fighting all the time or being judged by someone. i am not sure about your own situation but i think some people can relate at least. i can relate to some of the things you wrote also and i don't think i am the only one either. i Hope you're taking care of yourself by at least seeing a therapist and maybe a Pdoc. Please Do take all necessary steps to improve. Love. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @hidesad, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!