I’m still on the low side. I just feel horrible about my body. And I keep eating because I feel horrible and then I don’t want to go to the gym because I’m too depressed and it’s just this cycle. I think maybe I need the seroquel increased but I don’t want to tell my program because I’m supposed to discharge on Wednesday and I’m so close to going back to work.

It’s very nice today after 4 days of 95+ days and I wanted to go somewhere but then RS’s friend called and he agreed to go and help him with something. He could tell I was upset and I didn’t say I wasn’t because there wasn’t any point in denying it. I’m not sure why he didn’t just say no to his friend. He wasn’t mean about me being upset, he was upset leaving because he knew I felt bad, but he still went? If it was just a quick job it wouldn’t be bad but this particular friend is so talkative and often underestimates how complicated a job actually is. Maybe I’ll just go somewhere myself. My son is going to his coding lesson at 1pm for two hours.

I really feel like I’m going to cry and it’s so ridiculous but whatever it is what it is.