I have this wound too. I relate to so much of what you say. I attached easily to women growing up - first teachers, then therapists, even my female boss! I got obsessed with certain women on TV who I admired. I did do a lot of healing work with my first therapists but I've come much further with my current therapist. She's incredibly nurturing and empathetic and I'm having a real corrective experience with her. I'm also able to work through the pain of the past bit by bit and accept what is lost. It's been a long process but I do feel this wound doesn't affect me as much as it once did. It'll probably always be sad though and I struggle so much with wanting to be part of T's family. As well as psychotherapy, having an interest in spirituality has also helped me on my healing journey. I hope you find a way that works for you.