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I have said those lines to myself before.. I really don't know what to say about what you posted, but hey, it's good to let things out. If by writing here on digital pages help you out, then just continue.
You know yourself better. Hope you'll find out the answer soon ;]
<font color="purple">Clandestine</font>
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"It is an awful chaos; light and darkness, and mind and dust, and passions and pure thoughts, mixed and contending without end or order, all dormant or destructive." - Lord Byron
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