I’ve been reading all day. I think I used too much distraction today. I also had my headphones on all day and now I feel kind of anxious without them. I got the call back from work. Good news. But still no date on when I’ll begin. The pay isn’t great but it’s enough so I won’t lose my SS. He asked if the pay was ok. What a frigging trick question. They seem almost obsessed about hiring me. It’s kind of comical actually. He stressed again that it was ok to take the time off for my surgery.

But yeah so far I’ve just been numb most of the day. Not focusing on much of anything but my books. I may have some S thoughts tonight. But I’m trying to avoid that. I’m dealing with my PMDD this month but it’s not been as obvious as other times. I’ve mostly just kept things to myself. My visible moods have been in check. And I’m not having any physical symptoms. I’ve just felt strange for 3 days. I can’t tell if it’s physical unrelated to my PMDD or just emotional. Nothing seems out of control. I just don’t know what I’m feeling.