Well I got the job. I got the call about 1.5 hours ago. He told me what my pay would be. A little bit less then what I had asked for. But not a huge difference. He doesn’t know when I’ll start. He just said to check my phone and email for the paperwork that he said probably won’t come until Thursday.

So I don’t know. I’m not anxious about it. Not totally excited about it either. I mean it’s just work. He stressed again they were ok with me taking the time off for the surgery. I’ve been feeling numb all day and I don’t really know why. But I’ve been reading all day as a distraction. I think I used it a bit too much. I ate but only because I had to and I wanted to stay ahead of my hunger anyways. I’ve been quite and keeping to myself with my noise cancelling head phones on most of the day. I guess I feel a little bit sad that my transference T never responded to my email. I don’t know why. My Pdoc can be so confusing sometimes.

But I’m hoping going back to work will help me with these feelings. And maybe my next therapist will erase transference T completely. At this point I just need to let her go.

I’m not S. Currently. Just numb and slightly down at the same time. I’m reading a Stephen King book for the first time in 5 years. I finished my 4th non fiction book after starting up again on my reading a couple weeks ago. So I figured I’d read a fiction book this time. The SK book is actually really interesting and it’s a short small one. I read 50 pages in one sitting. I kinda have an idea about what’s going on. But I’m often wrong on books.

My PMDD could just really suck too. But I’m not very nervous about returning to work. I really liked working for this company for 2.5 years. My self esteem has also really boosted after losing 21 pounds.