Dear T,

I liked this one today. I really liked this one. BUT.... there's a couple of big buts here.... Sessions are 50 minutes for £50. 90 minutes £90. That's double what I was paying you and I just don't know if I can afford that. She also won't reply to any emails I send, though she did say she would read them, which surely would take longer?

I don't know. She has given me a few options to think about, and talking it through with R I do think that maybe this is the right one, if we can find some form of a compromise. I'm going to end up paying for it, but like R said, if she is worth it, then it is worth it and it could end up cheaper in the long run.

He said that this is the first one I have come home from and seemed in any way enthusiastic about. It's the little things. Like how I was really struggling at the beginning, she was asking me how the space felt, but I couldn't see it, because I couldn't look anywhere except behind me. She was sat over the other side of the room and I just couldn't look over there. After a few minutes though out of the corner of my eye I noticed that she had turned her chair around so that she wasn't looking at me. She hadn't turned all the way around, but just so that she was side on to me. Little things like that make it easier, and make me see that she might be willing to try things, methods, techniques etc. I felt like I could breathe when I saw that, and it really helped me to feel a little more comfortable.

She seemed competent and she seemed normal. And she seemed nice, I think, though I only caught a glimpse of that towards the end.

So now we just need to figure out a way of working that suits both of us I guess. So that she feels like she is being fairly financially compensated for her time and effort and I feel like I am not paying well above what I can realistically afford. I'm not sure how much she will compromise, my gut says not at all, but maybe we just wait and see, maybe that's ok.